Floriane: If you
received an “I love you” card today with
a chubby cupid and lovely little hearts, what was your reaction? Most people
are really pleased of course, but some people say: “Yuck, that’s so
kitsch!” Why? Well, for them, for me, Valentine's Day is just another
commercial rip-off... In today’s debate,
Maxence and Quentin over there will
try to convince you that love still exists; they are FOR the
motion that love still exists. Nicolas
and myself, Floriane, we will have you
believe that “love” does not exist anymore, it is just a gimmick
used for commercial purposes; we are AGAINST the motion.
FOR
Maxence: Valentine's
Day was originally a pagan ritual that had nothing to do with trade. In
its current form, Saint Valentine's Day is a celebration of love dating back to
1496. Of course, in the context of our consumer society, it has been
taken over by merchants (just like Christmas) to sell their
over-priced trinkets: chocolates, silly cards, perfume, flowers, etc. But
you don’t have to buy gifts to show someone you love them!
AGAINST
Nicolas: I agree
that Valentine's Day is ridiculous; you should show you appreciate your
partner every day of the year! Advertising is a powerful thing though
because you feel you do have to buy something on the 14th of
February… Just imagine the consequences if you forget to give your
girlfriend or boyfriend something… Yikes!
FOR
Quentin: Saint
Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to share a special moment with your partner
or to declare your flame. This celebration is really nice, despite the crass
commercialism. But it’s not because of that “consumer society” aspect to the
celebration that love does not exist on Saint Valentine’s Day! Love is for real
on the 14th of this month just like on every day of the year!
AGAINST
Nicolas: But, if
love does exist, it should be spontaneous, surely? It does not need a special day; Valentine’s is much too
contrived and a bit ridiculous! In fact, I think “true love” does not exist at
all, especially on a particular day. Advertising just uses so-called “love” (i.e.
sex!) to boost demand for things; it creates a desire to buy a product, that’s
all.
FOR
Maxence: Shopkeepers
have spoilt Valentine’s Day a bit, but they have not got rid of love itself!
Love is a wonderful feeling, a mixture of magic and desire… It’s also about
commitment and trust; if love did not exist, would we want to marry and
have kids?
AGAINST
Floriane: Don’t
make me laugh! There’s no “love at first sight”, there’s no whirlwind
romance, there’s no poetry of ecstatic longing… If true love did
exist, people would also stay married! Most couples get divorced
nowadays, and people who stay married do so for tax purposes or “because
of the kids”! No, Valentine’s Day is just a means of making us believe
love exists. But it is not the only one! Did you know you can find “true
love” on the Internet too? More and more desperate people register on dating
sites. I think these sites show just what the true nature of “love” actually is:
“love” is just a mix and match computer program! “Love” is
the name of an online supermarket for lonely bodies and tired souls…
FOR
Maxence: But dating
sites are proof that love does exist! It’s just a modern way of finding
it that’s all! It is possible to meet someone that you can appreciate, who
might become the great love of your life! The main advantage of online dating is clear: it gives you the opportunity
to contact people who, like you, want
to meet other people! You are
sure to find someone who is compatible…
AGAINST
Nicolas: For me,
dating sites are traps for the gullible; statistics show most people were
well disappointed when they finally check up their soul mate in the
flesh! Man, you must be real naïve and desperate to hope for love and
romance on the Google box! I mean, what’s love got to do, got to do
with it?! It’s all about ripping off lonely people and them not
getting any looove!
FOR
Quentin: On
these sites nothing is left to chance, you can target the characteristics
that interest you or search the options which allow you to choose your contacts
quickly and efficiently and to find people who match your criteria,
increasing your chances to start a relationship on a solid basis.
Virtual meetings offer the opportunity to interact with many people, but
also to stop the exchange without difficulty if the feeling isn’t
mutual. The selection criteria are extensive and include religion, intellectual
level, nationality, social background, income, geographic location, or type of
meeting wanted, etc.
AGAINST
Nicolas: Are you
kidding me!? Where’s the romance in all this?! Your list sounds
just like I’m going to have to order a pizza or open an online bank
account or something, not find the love of my life!
FOR
Quentin: In real
life, finding true love is quite hard for some people and internet can
be a means of helping them find it. 25% of the people who meet online
stay together...
AGAINST
Nicolas: That’s
a figure given by Meetic and co. just to give people hope. These sites
use the same method to make their money: bait the lovesick bachelor or
single girl by giving them free access to the profiles of other users, and
then make them pay for services such as contacts, sending or reading
messages, chat, etc.
FOR
Quentin: Sure,
but it costs less than sleazy night clubs! What counts is the result:
real relationships are started online!
AGAINST
Floriane: It’s
just so sad; a machine to find love?! Whatever happened to
falling in love with the fleeting image in a café mirror, with the
souvenir of her rare perfume, with the sweet way she giggled?
FOR
Maxence: You
sound like an old romantic! So you do believe in love, then?! No,
let’s get real here: meeting people online is practical for busy
people, for shy people, for ordinary lazy people too. It’s also cheaper
than having to take someone to the restaurant just to see if they might
perhaps fancy you! At least an Internet date is clear! And you can get
romantic from the comfort of your home. The worst thing that might
happen is that you will not get a reply to your email. Our ancestors had
arranged marriages, and our parents’ generation did not have the advantage
of the internet to choose carefully their partner, they took whatever they
could find in their town (hence the high divorce rate). Our
generation wants relationships to be based on mutual respect, which
means having to know someone really well; true love comes from this, not
from some over-the-top romantic whatever. Meeting someone online is a
good way of avoiding long-term disappointment…
AGAINST
Floriane: If love
exists, I think it is changing for the worse…
FOR
Quentin: Love does
still exist; we just have a less simplistic notion of what’s involved.
We still want passion and affection and friendship, but we -
especially women - want to be in control: we want to decide with who
we want to be, when, and why. We are much more open-minded
than before and I believe the mentality of people is becoming pretty good.
Maybe we have learnt to accept that love is not necessarily forever
and nor is marriage? John Gottman, the famous American psychotherapist,
says a couple can only stay in love if there is also friendship and
lots of humor. I agree!
Floriane: That’s
the end of our contribution to the debate today, thanks for listening!
We wish you a very romantic Saint Valentine’s Day, hoping you
find the love of your life or of the next week at least! Are
there any questions or comments? Would someone from the floor like to speak
before we vote?
VOTE: the motion was carried by a small majority.
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